Shane and the cat
As the
thunder approaches, the rage of the horrifying rain lashes against the
corrugating fence. This abysmal weather wakes the boy named Shane and his furry
cat with no name. Shane says “Don’t worry Catlegs, your Safe here!” As the cat
with no name leaps over the snuggly blanket and huddles up in a tiny ball.
Suddenly, the
boy called Shane hears a horrific growl! Closer and closer it ROARS!!! It is
the viscous ravenous dog! He is terrifying. The blood red eyes glares at the
cat evilly and saliva drips form his white deadly intensely. The deep growl
sends shivers of fear through the the boy called Shane and the cat with no
name. The dangerous dog, which is starving, chases the innocent cat. The called
Shane runs after the cat with no name. Finding the poor little cat behind the
dustbins he snuggles up tightly.
“You’re safe
here Fluffy cat. No-one will hurt you now. We have a big day tomorrow Kitty.
Just you ‘n’ me, you ‘n’ me.”
you have lots of good words and good openers but you need to inclued more detail
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