Tuesday, 5 March 2013

Arjan 5/3/13


Raging Sea

 

                                 

                                       

Deep beneath the dark blue sea

He awakes from his peaceful slumber

Tossing his green sea weed hair .

He strides across the ocean floor .


 

Gathering his   troops   by his side

He begins his long march to the land above. Waves start to tumble in the floor.

Forward! Forward! He demands!

They mount their  wild horses and charge.
 
He is a ruthless king of the sea.
Restlessly he crushes  his mighty sword.
As two worlds collide.
Shivering  in  fear  the reeds stand tall .
Waves spit out their angry venom.    
 

3 comments:

  1. You hve used brilliant vocab and connectives

    ReplyDelete
  2. Excellent piece of work Arjan!I like all your
    the senteces eg: waves spit out their angry venom.

    *You could improve by using more commas rather than full stop.

    Nice

    ReplyDelete
  3. -You done a great peice of work
    -Used lots of puctaintion.
    -Added lots of vocaburaly.
    -You need add more openers

    ReplyDelete