The Playful Sea
The sea is a playful monkey.
The wave twist and turn,
Swinging on the ropes of the wind.
They rattle the boats,
Like a game of catch between the
waves.
A young cheeky monkey comes to
interfere.
He jumps up to grab their toy.
He will CRASH and BANG like thunder,
Pulling the boat
Into the darkness of his long arms.
He cuddles his toy as the water
Curls around him, like a blanket,
Shining like the bright moon.
By Leonard
I really liked the way you said that he cuddles his toy as the water curled around him.
ReplyDeleteI liked the way you said the playful sea is like a monkey.
*In the meanwhile I think you should tell the audience more
I enjoyed reading your poem.
*Well done Leonard you have included good similes such as 'he wil crash and bang like thunder'.
ReplyDelete*Also you have included some great metaphors like: the sea is a monkey.
*You could include some more vocabulary and description.
i liked your work but you should put vocab in there and more good sentences
ReplyDeleteyou have a lot of good simikies but i think you should use more adjectives
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your poem specially the metaphors eg:the playful sea is like a monkey
ReplyDelete*You could improve on your poem by using more connectivs instead of full stops.
Nice work!
Well done leonard you have used brilliant similes eg:He cuddles his toy as the water
ReplyDeleteCurls around him, like a blanket,
Shining like the bright moon
He cuddles his toy as the water is funny.need more work.
ReplyDeleteYou have a range of verses and a very excelllent title for you poem ,Brilliant
ReplyDelete