Opening to a story
As the earthquake
gradually began to die down, children were screaming for the mothers.
Everywhere there was panic and confusion. Piles of rubble filled up the streets
also buildings were destroyed and many lives were shattered. The stench of
death drifted in the air. Chaos loomed everywhere .twisted metal pierced the rubble.
Above the Abandoned city survivors were looking for their children and mighty
buildings that once stood but know were collapsed. There was destruction everywhere.
this was very fantastic writing because it has very good words and you have described them.But you can add a simle and add more powerful vocabulary
ReplyDeletegood vcop good vocab
ReplyDeleteuse complex sentances
Good Vocabulary
ReplyDeleteyou need to use different structure to your work