The Raging Sea
Tranquilly, the sea tip toes towards the golden brown sand,
The sea is like an elderly cat peaceful and quiet,
There is not a sound to be heard.
Splash, splash!
The sea is gradually getting stronger.
The sea is anxiously waiting for the raging storm to begin.
Boom, Boom!
Furiously, the storm has begins,
The sea is a catastrophic monstrous creature devouring
everything in its path!
Angry and Aggressively, the sea is a lion ready to pounce on
you!
Cartwheeling crazily the sea is as fast as a gymnast doing a
flip in the Olympics,
The sea is a serial killer ready to murder you!
Slowly, the sea is calming down,
It`s as quiet as birds tweeting there’s not a sound to be heard.
By Simran Chahal
I like your use of similes and your choice of words. However, could you keep the length of your verses consistent?
ReplyDeleteI think this is really good you structured your paragraphs really good, but i think you should use more adjectives.
ReplyDeleteI really like your effective work. I could imagine the scene while i was reading it.
ReplyDelete* I love the powerful use of vocabulary.
* Short effective sentences.
* I wish you had written your work in the same
tense : ,the storm has begins.
The storm begins was a typing errar sorry!
DeleteGreat piece of work! There are some really good similies and excellent use of vocabulary. * You could make your writing better by punchuating your work correctly.
ReplyDeleteGreat work you've used some good similies and adjectives i agree with Iman you could have used more powerful adjectives ! Well done !!
ReplyDelete