The old brick Ancient church
sits proudly as the exited visitors comes and visit. Quietly, and silently the
gravestones are standing like soldiers. Motionless trees still as the birds sing
joyless and happily. The smell of the flowers are beautiful. As you come into
the church you can hear the birds singing beautifully. Ring, Ring, Ring… the
bells go out. Wash, Wash, Wash… the trees go side to side. As people arrive
trees start to whisper about the people. As you go inside you can smell the
candle as it lights up.
Well done simran you have wrote aw great setting about the ancient church
ReplyDelete*Excellent description - Motionless trees still as the birds sing joyless and happily.
ReplyDelete*Good use of onomatopoeia - Ring, ring, ring wash, wash, wash.
I wish you could use complex sentences and vary the length of your sentences.
well done simran J you have used great vocab and description.
ReplyDeleteExecellent decription like the old brick ancient church
ReplyDeleteI loved when you said old brick Ancient church sits proudly as the exited visitors comes and visit
ReplyDeletewow! you have done an excellent piece. you have used words like motionless and joyless.
ReplyDeletenext time you can add mor wow words!
I loved your piece of writing.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your similie: quietly and silently,the gravestones are standing like soldiers.
I loved the discriptive vocab you used eg; Proudly, silently, motionless.
*I think you could of changed the word 'joyless' because after it you wrote happily and that does not make sense.
I loved your description of the old brick church.
ReplyDeleteYou used many great adjectives to describe the ways the grave stones and trees look like and what they do.
*i think you could of changed the word "joyless"because you wrote happilly after it which does not make sense.