The Monster
As I froze, I didn`t know what was
going to happen next. Silently, as I crept forward, I suddenly saw a vicious,
angry monster staring at me as I was going to do something really bad. Although,
I ran, ran, ran, as fast as I could to defeat that spiteful, obnoxious monster.
He caught me! Its claws were razor-sharp as I looked with my eyes. Its
red-blooded eyes were staring at me as I tried to escape. I ran… finally,
finally, finally, I defended that ugly, monster. I escaped!!!
you have a range of punctuation and varing opener well done!
ReplyDeleteI think Simran's work was amazing because you used adjectives and the power of three.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the fact that you used the power of three. you used openers and puntuation.
ReplyDeletei really like that u use power of three lots
ReplyDeleteI REALLY LIKE YOUR WORF VERY GOOD POWER OF THREE WELL DONE. really good with your VCOP.
ReplyDeleteI really like your use of lots of powerful vocabulary and especially your power of three
ReplyDeletei really enjoyed your blog
ReplyDeletethe things that i really liked were
*puntuation
*openers
*adjectives
good use of power of 3 and you used a wide range of connectives and puctuation.
ReplyDeleteit left me on a cliffhanger, so very well used effect.
could be improved by varying openers.